SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT: A HUMAN INTEREST STORY
This week’s blog is going to be different. I’ve got a story for you – or should I say there’s a guy I know who has a story to tell. The story is about his life and how it was as he grew up as a child. You would think as a child – at a young age, life would and should be easy. Playing with your toys and the neighborhood kids but life isn’t like that for some. Believe me, I know from personal experience however, today’s blog is about a man I met several years ago when he helped my mother with her physical therapy. His name is Rick Siperko.
My mother adored Rick and the other therapist, Jason (I believe that was his name) and she always made sure when she had to have the physical therapy that I requested these two. She was right, as they were wonderful with my mom – as well as the nurses that would come for visits. I guess my mom just had her favorites. But enough chit-chat.
I want you to read this wonderful article Rick has written. We as individuals don’t realize what others go through beyond a smile, the hurt and agony someone is feeling at any given moment and time. Rick, you are a very special person and I am blessed to know you and to call you my friend.
And now here is the story of Rick Siperko.
A TWIST OF THE MIND AND THE INNOCENCE OF A CHILD
WRITTEN BY: RICHARD SIPERKO
Many of us have bumpy beginnings. We come into this world as fragile little beings in need of large amounts of care and love. But, despite the best of efforts on the part of our caregivers, often the early years of our lives are less than perfect.
That was certainly true for me. Let me explain how a simple twist of the mind and the innocence of a child led to decades of pain.
I was born in the summer of 1973, the second of three boys, and while I was supposed to be the completion of the perfect pair, a boy and a girl, I started this life already willing to push back against the expectations of others.
Life was good and things were going along just fine until I was nearly four. Up until then I was moving through the world at a rapid pace by running, jumping, and climbing literally everything in view, at least according to those entrusted with the responsibility of keeping me safe. I kept my parents moving as they dutifully and repeatedly placed me back down on safe and solid ground.
Then, without any known incident, I began to avoid standing and walking while dragging my right leg, and even regressed to crawling as my primary means of mobility. My parents sought medical attention for me with little satisfaction from numerous appointments in several doctors offices and hospitals.
At 45 years of age, I still recollect many of the experiences of this stressful time including images of the hospitals, waiting rooms, hallways, and many of the doctors and nurses.
Nothing is ever really lost, just buried away.
They finally felt that the Alfred I. duPont Institute, a children’s hospital and medical center in Wilmington, Delaware was where we were meant to be as that was the only place where the doctor’s weren’t ready and eager to cut me open.
I must pause for a moment and offer my deepest gratitude for the beautiful people who cared for me there. Incredible people they were, and I’m blessed my parents found them and that they worked hard to be good at their chosen vocations.
For some unknown reason, a blood vessel in my right hip became non-functional, causing a disruption in the blood flow to my femur. In medical terms, avascular necrosis occurred. Without life giving blood, the bone began to weaken and then fractured.
With my hip broken, any and all weight bearing led to pain, and so I, like most people who have pain, began to avoid those activities that exacerbated it.
When meditating I can, and have on numerous occasions, regressed myself back and re-experienced those painful times. Why? To learn, to understand, and to heal.
Of course, Little Ricky wasn’t just experiencing physical pain, but also emotional pain, as it was clear to me that my family was deeply concerned about me, and I didn’t intellectually understand why.
I was hurting, and stressed, and so were they, and I concluded it was because of me. I interpreted their stress as my fault and concluded that I was “wrong” or “flawed” in some way. That was the start of my “not good enough” syndrome. Many of us experience that in one shape or another as our early years imprint us deeply and can leave a lifelong scar.
Shortly after beginning treatment at the A.I. duPont Institute, I developed swelling in my knee that required draining. To this day, I vividly remember the treatment room I was in, the numerous medical personnel present, and the look and energy of my parents during this very impactful time.
My right leg was securely strapped down, and several people, including my parents were holding me to prevent me from moving. I clearly remember that everyone was worried! I could see it and feel it, and that led to tremendous fear. Little Ricky knew from the nervous energy in the room and the people in it that something was either very wrong, or I was about to experience intense pain. I felt confused and powerless, being held down by adults, including those who I trusted.
When the needle broke through my skin and entered my knee joint, the pain was so intense that I completely froze. Paralyzed, I couldn’t even cry. In that moment, and at nearly four years of age, I made some critical decisions that would lead to decades of suffering, culminating in nearly ending my own life. Because of the pain I had already endured from the fracture, feeling confused, afraid, powerless, and now the intensity of the pain from the draining, I decided that “I can’t make it in this world.”
As I mentioned earlier, our younger years imprint us with many of our core beliefs, and these govern our overall view of life, which affects our decisions, behaviors, and actions. From the core belief of “I can’t make it in this world” came a stream of other beliefs, including: “It’s too hard (life). It’s too painful (life). This isn’t how I want it (life) to be. I can’t have the life I want, so what’s the point in being here. I might as well be dead.”
At four years of age I had already decided I wanted to leave this world. Suicidal thoughts began a number of years later, but the decision to leave was made by a little boy who simply didn’t understand the world. It was a twist of the mind coupled with the innocence of a child that led to decades of inner turmoil and mental, emotional, and spiritual pain.
Beliefs travel in packs, one leading to another, creating a downward spiral that, in my case, pulled me into feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness. Despite the fact that I had many successes in my life following these early decisions, I never really went for it, often sabotaging myself by not trying or doing something to stop short of the achievement that was possible because, based on my belief that “I can’t have the life I want,” whatever I really went for wasn’t going to work out anyway. And so, what was the point, as the only possible result, at least in my mind, was disappointment.
Now, maybe this seems like an extreme case, and perhaps it is, but I have yet to meet a person in seminars, trainings, certifications and during coaching sessions who hasn’t been limited by beliefs that were formed in their first six to seven years of life. These beliefs may be affecting their relationships, their occupational or business success, their ability to attain peace, or their overall happiness. In most cases, they actually affect all of the above.
Of course, beliefs formed later in life can and do impact us as well, but those early beliefs tend to be buried away, well out of our conscious awareness. And so, they operate and impact our lives without us ever really looking for them. You can think of limiting beliefs as a cloud that surrounds us, obscuring our view of the reality we exist and function in. As long as we continue to look at things through this cloud, we have no idea its there, and only see in our world what we believe is out there. Reality is actually inside out. We project our beliefs onto the world and our mind searches for confirmation of our rightness “out there,” limiting ourselves and our world view. Our potential becomes restricted to what we believe.
This is why coaching is so powerful as it helps us uncover our inner limitations.
Becoming aware of them, recognizing the impact they have on our lives, and, ultimately, changing limiting beliefs is a life altering experience. It massively shifts our perspective of the world and greatly enhances our potential. This is why the saying, Know Thy Self, is so powerful.
I am now Free because I have removed the inner limitations that were based on the perceptions of a younger me that simply didn’t know any better. Now I do know better. In fact, now I BELIEVE better. It has been a challenging journey, but well worth the effort.
Are you free? If not, it’s probably not something “out there” that is holding you back. It’s likely something inside that needs to be exposed, and then changed.
Thanks for reading.
Rick Siperko, Life Coach
Such a wonderful, enlightening article. All my best to Rick! Visit his website: RICKSIPERKO.com
That’s all for this week. I hope to have book reviews for you and the edits are due to begin today on the sequel to DL Vengeful Desires, which I don’t have a release date for you at this time. Until next week my friends!